10 Surefire Ways to Get Over Someone

Hookup with a rando (rumoured).

Dance like no one’s watching. Or like everyone is, whatever.

Clean, obsessively.

Run until your knees melt out of your skin.

Write everything down. Don’t stop until you are no longer playing your last meeting on loop.

Run away. Far, far away. Preferably somewhere that has nothing to do with him, like an air raid shelter, or your dad’s house.

Drink a bottle or two of wine a night. Or have a tequila cocktail or three. Different strokes…

Throw things. Smash things. Hit things. [In the safety of a room equipped with safety goggles and supervision.]

Do not, under any circumstances, listen to Linda Ronstadt. Just trust me. Don’t do it.

Imagine you’re Angela Bassett in this gif, and approach each day like you’re going to set everything on fire.

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Here endeth the lesson.

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