Dear White Women

I think when the women in this NYT article lament about not feeling welcome, they’re saying they won’t feel celebrated. The world isn’t about only us, fellow white women. 

I, personally, am sorry it’s hard for you to hear that while you’re a woman and maybe (maybe) you grew up poor, or have some other hindrance in your life, that you still have privilege, but it’s the truth. So do I. The fact is that we can walk down streets and are acknowledged as white and therefore (more often than not) are “safe,” are “normal” and “belong here.” We’re more likely to be thought of as attractive and deserving of praise, accolades, promotion, higher wages.
We’re more likely to be believed than women of other races.
So, maybe you think you’ve never personally offended or affronted a person of color, and maybe you haven’t. Or perhaps you live your life intending not to, and are thus shocked (!) and hurt (!) when someone brings to your attention you have. But, when a WOC tells you how they feel; what they’ve experienced; instead of playing it down, or telling them you “didn’t intend to,” or telling them to stay positive, calm down, be less angry, or somehow else subtly disputing their right to those feelings — listen. Believe them. Validate their feelings, their value, their existence.
And if you really do give a fuck about them, and you really do care about “All lives” get to know theirs. If “we’re all in this together” and “we’re all sisters,” then treat them as though they are your sister. But in doing that, you have to acknowledge our experiences and our needs from this country are different, and for a very long time, they have been tailored to us — white women. Are you hurt and offended right now because you feel devalued and ignored? Try feeling that your whole life. Try absorbing that from your mother, and her mother. Empathy is necessary, but not from the place most people think.
And, as one of the posters in the article said: read work by black authors. (And Latinx, and Asian, etc). Google terms you don’t know or understand instead of relying on someone else to teach you.
I will see you at the march. Fuck Donald Trump. ✊🏻

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